AL: There are so many unique experiences happening in the readings and in our lives now that choosing only one to write about is a little challenging.
However, the information given in a reading given on November 22 (Selah #14) about my Earthly death that occurred the night before would have to be considered a “showstopper”, from my perspective at least.
It began as most readings do. As we moved deeper into the reading — time being an illusion — I was brought to an event that occurred the night before, except that it was also occurring for me in “present time” right there in the midst of the reading. I was brought before the Council of Elders at a point in which my physical body was considered to have died the night before, stopped breathing, and I was shown that I had the right to choose whether to go back to that physical body and continue that lifetime, or not.
A peculiar scenario, right? I was reliving my choice, being given it again while in the reading, as though 20 or so hours had not passed.
This was not the first time I experienced this. I’d had a near-death experience when I was nine (you can read about this in my story), so I was well aware of the “routine”. And once again, at this moment of choice I felt nothing but the profound Peace and Love that flows from God.
The moment came where there was no question but that I would return. Even as my body has aged over the past decade since being told by Lama Sing & Company of “The Return”, I have always known I wanted to be present to greet Him when He arrives.
Some exciting and curious things have happened to me since that event, and I’ll share more about those in future columns and Selah discussions. Perhaps the most interesting of all is the absence of structure, the absence of feeling confined or so limited by finiteness as I did before. Susan says there is a new sense of fluidity. She experienced the event in her own way — no less profound and perhaps in some ways even more so (she shares it below), so I agree with her description: there is a fluidity of movement that wasn’t present before.
Additionally, my Earthly senses feel enhanced in very loving ways. Here’s an example: As you are reading this, Father and I feel you being a part of this.
SUSAN: The morning after this event, Al said to me, “I have to tell you something really strange — I think I died last night!” So I proceeded to tell him of the experience I had had that night. My description went something like this:
“I woke up during the night sensing a difference in the room. I looked over at you and couldn’t hear you breathing. I leaned up on an elbow to get closer but still I couldn’t hear anything. I didn’t want to touch you because it felt like you were in the midst of an important experience that I didn’t want to disturb. I got out of bed and went around to your side and bent down, getting as close to you as I possibly could without touching you, listening for any breath, trying to get a sense of whether your face or body was warm or cold. It was really dark and I could barely make you out. A few minutes later I got back in bed and prayed: Father? What can I do that would be of greatest service to him at this point? I reached over and placed my hand above your chest to send you energy, to let my hand be the hand of any who would wish to send you loving energy. I couldn’t hold it up for long. I pulled it back and started to cry, but immediately knew that would definitely not be helpful, so I stopped.
“After awhile I got out of bed to go around to you again… maybe my eyes had adjusted enough to be able to detect any movement. This time, I bent to where I was nearly touching you face to face. Still, there was nothing. (I recall at this point, strange as this might seem to have happen here, I had the funny thought that I must look really humorous to those watching all this, because the “room” – no walls – felt so full of observers! I then had the thought that you might open your eyes and freak out seeing me eyeball-to-eyeball to you.) But you didn’t stir.
“I got back in bed and waited. In a little bit, I sensed a subtle shift and felt that, if I could do it very carefully, maybe I could touch you and would be able to tell your status without disturbing you. So I reached out a finger under the blanket and gently placed it on your side, and there was an ever-so-slight movement! It was nearly non-existent, but it was there! By this time it was about 5:30. I tried to get some sleep then so I could be of some use to you when you woke up, not knowing what condition you’d be in. A few hours later, you almost jumped out of bed, like you had the energy of ten years ago.”
What is different for me now since this event, this fluidity means there are so many gradients from A to B, here to there, now and then, this so that, etc., that remove the boundaries, the definitions, the preconceived, such that it is all replaced with a much greater sense and appreciation of the Sacred Now. I would never have defined it in this way before, but for me, it is an entirely new sense of Freedom. It is a feeling of Freedom I can’t yet describe. It leaves me in a profound and perpetual Wonder.